As I have attempted to traverse life, there are many times where I have taken the path of least resistance, and as a result, I have often felt like I was hiding in plain sight. When I talk with others about who I am, and where I come from, I have allowed them to make assumptions about me based on their understanding of the world. When I talk about my “family”, more often than not, their bias instantly creates a mental picture of a traditional nuclear family. It is simply a clean, pretty, and normalized view of family, and as a result, we often privilege “traditional” family structures at the individual, social, and structural levels. In fact, families are often much more nuanced and complicated than represented on Leave It To Beaver.
Adoption is as old of a concept as the traditional family. Yet our fantasy version of family results in the privileging of some structures over others and creates barriers to the inclusion of more creative family structures. The first step to creating more inclusive social and structural systems is moving beyond the simplistic conceptualization of family when interacting with others.
Around 7 million Americans are adopted, and each year there are more than 50,000 adoptions in the US. One out of every 25 families with children have an adopted child. While the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) does provide protected leave for childbirth, adoption, and foster care placement, these policies are quite rigid, and few organizations have a comprehensive adoption assistance program that might include things like paid leave. They also often overlook adoption in their policies, which creates a range of challenges for employees who are adopting. There are a number of ways this oversight typically happens.
First, most organizations provide Parental Leave, however, adoption-related leave policies are frequently less comprehensive than policies for biological parental leave. For instance, some organizations offer shorter leave durations or restrict eligibility for adoptive parents, which can undermine the bonding period and support needed during the transition to parenthood.
In many cases, HR departments and managers are not well-informed about adoption, leading to gaps in support and misunderstanding of adoptive parents’ needs. This can manifest as insensitivity toward adoption timelines, challenges, or even discriminatory remarks or assumptions about adoptive families. Some organizations fail to include adoption-specific language or inclusivity in their HR and family policies. Examples might include, using language such as”birth mother” or “birth parent”, and not offering educational programs or workshops that include adoptive parenting or examples of diversity in family structures. This can make adoptive families feel marginalized or misunderstood.
Many organizations provide financial support for pregnancy and childbirth but overlook similar support for adoption-related costs. Adoption can be expensive, involving fees for agencies, legal services, and travel, yet few employers offer financial assistance for these costs. Benefits like child care support, family counseling, and employee assistance programs are sometimes tailored for biological families, unintentionally excluding or complicating access for adoptive families. Adoptive families often face unique needs, such as sudden travel requirements, lengthy approval processes, and unexpected delays in placement. Organizations that lack flexible scheduling, work-from-home options, or leave policies to accommodate these scenarios, make it harder for employees to manage the adoption process. Ernst & Young LLP is an example of an organization that does consider the importance of financial assistance with up to $25,000 per family for adoption and 16 weeks of fully paid parental leave.
Adoption can come with distinct emotional and mental health challenges, such as dealing with attachment issues or helping children who have experienced trauma. Yet, many organizations do not provide counseling or mental health resources tailored for adoptive parents or children.
Organizations that neglect these aspects risk fostering an environment that feels unwelcoming or inflexible to adoptive parents, impacting employee morale, retention, and diversity efforts. Embracing adoption in policies not only aligns with inclusivity but can also create a more supportive work culture for all families.
Apart from the benefits employees may experience, there are organizational benefits that result from adoption inclusive benefits and policies. Organizational benefits include:
- increasing employee loyalty and retention;
- adding a competitive edge in recruiting new employees;
- providing a low-cost benefit (generally used by less than 1% of eligible employees);
- being a part of helping move children in need of a family to loving, permanent adoptive homes;
- and, the satisfaction of knowing they are doing the right thing.
Similar to the way we have learned to not initially overlay gender or sexual orientation upon others, we should also work to avoid overlaying limited views of family structure on others. When we do, the result is invasive to our social and structural systems and impedes inclusivity.